The Dream Marriage

E17: Communication During + After Sex and Why it Matters

Let's talk about sex!
In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, the Dalkes discuss the importance of communicating with your spouse during and after sex and how doing so can create more intimacy and pleasure for both of you. 
Sex is a huge gift from God that is meant to be enjoyed in the marital bed! But learning about your spouse and their body is a life-long journey, and that's why communication during and after sex can be so beneficial. 
Brian and Allison talk about why and how the sexual exploration of our bodies can lead to more intimacy and pleasure in the bedroom. 
 
Links from this episode:
Joyce and Clifford Penner
Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women 
The yes/no/maybe list 
Email the Dalkes anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com 
Or check out their other free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com 

E16: The Sexual Freedom We Have in Marriage

In this episode of the Dream Marriage Podcast, the Dalkes talk about about what the Bible says is okay and not okay when it comes to sex.
They outline the Biblical boundaries around sex based onHebrews 13:4 
There should be: No adultery, no fornication, and no lust or coveting, but aside from that?....it's all game!  
Within the marital bed of a covenant relationship there is so much freedom and fun in sex. 
But remember, we don’t want to play the comparison game. What is okay for one couple is not necessarily okay for another couple. 
Biblical reference from this episode:
Proverbs 5:18-19
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
Check out their YES/NO/MAYBE Intimacy Checklist on their website at www.thedreammarriage.com 
 
For Men and Women Only book link:
https://a.co/d/aYwbeYZ 
 
Coming up next week: communication during and after sex 
Email the Dalkes anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com 
Or check out their free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com 

E15: The Sexual Baggage We Bring Into Marriage

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, the Dalkes discuss the sexual baggage we bring into our marriages. 
We all bring sexual baggage into our marriage whether we’ve had sexual experiences before marriage or not. 
The Dalkes talk through 4 areas of sexual baggage:
the things we’ve seen,
the things we’ve done,
the things that have been done to us,
and the things we believe about sex. 
They bring up important questions such as: Is the pleasure of sex just for men? Or for men and women both?
How does sexual baggage affect your sex life in marriage?
What are our personal expectations of sex? And where do they derive from?  How do you begin to heal from or get free from that baggage so you can experience the freedom that God has for us within the marriage bed? 
They discuss why communication about sex is vital to a healthy and thriving sex life, and how exploring each other's bodies can be a form of healing from sexual baggage. 
 
Important Links mentioned in today's episode:
Online Christian Couple's Counseling: https://www.heyritual.com/ 
Breaking soul ties link/prayer https://wildatheart.org/prayer/breaking-soul-ties-wah-podcast 
 
His Needs Her Needs book https://a.co/d/dw8riX6 
 
Healing from sexual baggage resource links: 
Joyce and Clifford Penner's books:The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment:https://a.co/d/2IZdBlV  
Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure:https://a.co/d/7PBmUkb 
The Married Guide Guy’s to Great Sex:https://a.co/d/bb7A60P 
 
As always, you can email the Dalkes anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com 
Or check out their free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com 
 

E14: Sex and Your Marriage

On this episode of the Dream Marriage Podcast, Allison and Brian talk begin the conversation about sex and your marriage. 
The secular world owns the conversation about sex, but sex was created to be a gift from god to a married couple in covenant. The secular world glorifies sex outside marriage, while the church rarely talks about the gift that sex is inside of marriage. 
This episode is an honest conversation about the preconceived notions and expectations we bring into marriage about sex, and how those beliefs effect our sex life long term. 
Links and other resources mentioned in this episode:
Full set of God’s Design for Sex Books (all 4 books for all age groups included) (does not include the parent’s guide) https://a.co/d/0zqVC9U
How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex: A Lifelong Approach to Shaping Your Child’s Sexual Character (God's Design for Sex) (Parent’s Guide) https://a.co/d/5uuVBFt
The Story of Me: Babies, Bodies, and a Very Good God (God's Design for Sex) (ages 3-5 years) https://a.co/d/fsqStTg 
Before I Was Born: God Knew My Name (God's Design for Sex) (ages 5-8 years) https://a.co/d/2vf0OEz
What’s the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex (ages 8-12)  https://a.co/d/g3svOo3
Finding the Facts: The Truth About Sex and You (ages 12-16) https://a.co/d/7Kt3QWN 
Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com 
Or check out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com 
 

E13: Porn and Your Marriage

In this episode of the dream marriage podcast, the Dalkes have an important and honest conversation about porn and your marriage. 
Here are a few links to the MANY videos/articles we watched while researching the effects of porn for this episode. There are MANY more out there. Just go look and do your research. This should get you started, though. 
(Video) A doctor's take on the negative effects of porn on men https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTVyjLPLkfk 
(Article) 5 Ex-Porn Performers Who are Now Anti-Porn: https://fightthenewdrug.org/5-popular-ex-porn-stars-who-are-now-anti-porn/ 
Education about the effects of porn: (so many incredible articles here!)https://fightthenewdrug.org/blog/ 
 
Life Changing Resources for those Addicted to Porn: 
https://bravehearts.org/ 
www.thefreedomfight.org
www.covenanteyes.com 
Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com Or check out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

E12: The Power of Praying Over Your Spouse

In this episode of the Dream Marriage, the Dalkes discuss the importance of not only praying for your spouse but also praying over your spouse. 
 
They talk about their personal experience with this practice and share practical ways to get started. 
 
Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com 
Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com 

E11: A Dream Chasing Update from the Dalkes

In this episode of the Dream Marriage, Brian and Allison Dalke update listeners on the dreams they're chasing as a couple and a family.
They believe that it's essential for all couples to dream together, and they practice what they preach. 
Hear their story of selling their dream home, moving to 50 acres in the country, and their decision to become flower farmers. 
They discuss how dream chasing is hard, and how dreams usually change over time. 
In this episode, they encourage listeners to not limit God. 
To hear why dreaming is essential for couples and how you can start to dream with your spouse, check out this previous episode of the podcast https://thedreammarriagepodcast.podbean.com/e/dreaming-with-your-spouse/
Soul Shepherding Institute link https://www.soulshepherding.org/institute/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA_5WvBhBAEiwAZtCU7-5YlxnKjdlVEY7zEkpp997YU2ui5jOdXZMlha9rEtVdsiRU9JG-9RoCX00QAvD_BwE
 
Download our Couples’ Guide to Dream Chasing at www.thedreammarriage.com 
 
Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com 
 
Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com 
 

E10: How We Fought for (and Won Back) Quality Family Time

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss how their family settles into a rhythm of Sabbath rest. It's not about religion; it's about how we were made for work and rest. 
This one practice has drastically changed the Dalkes' marriage, work, life, and family time. 
 
Links: 
Annie Downs: That sounds fun podcast with John Mark Comer https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/january-2018-rhythms-sabbath-john-mark-comer/id944925529?i=1000399594293 
John Mark Comer’s book Garden City https://a.co/d/5tIvg85 
Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com 
Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com 

E9: Facebook, Fantasy Football, and your Marriage

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss the benefit of having clear boundaries around the way you spend your time. 
What would your family say is most important to you based on how you spend your time? Are you spending your time on things that are the best things for you and your future? 
Brian and Allison discuss the things that take up our mental and physical time as well as emotional margin. They talk about everything from fantasy football to social media and even work and why boundaries around how we spend our time can ultimately give us more freedom. 
How we spend our time cultivates who we become. Everything you spend your time on is a deposit towards who you’re ultimately becoming. 
If you’re lacking margin and extra time, why? What is it that you’re spending your time doing? 
Are you intentionally or unintentionally spending your time being busy doing things so you don’t have to think/process?
Anything that we can do too much can be bad for us. 
As you assess the way you’re spending your time, ask yourself these questions: 
Is it healthy?
Does it honor God? 
Is it necessary? 
Sometimes we need boundaries around a certain area of our lives for just a season. 
One of the ways you can gauge where you might need some boundaries is where there is a tension spot in your day, in your soul, or with your partner. 
Remember, as you honestly assess how you’re spending your time, give yourself  grace. 
What do you want to be known for? How we spend our time is how we build our legacy. 
 
Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com 
Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com

E8: What are you saying about your spouse to others?

In this episode of the Dream Marriage podcast, Brian and Allison Dalke discuss the power of your words. Your words have the power of life and death in your marriage. 
Is it okay to “vent” about your spouse to others? Can you trust that your spouse only speaks positively about you when you’re not around?
They outline the things they never say about each other to other people and the only exceptions to this rule. 
What habits do you have around the words you speak about your spouse? 
One person in the relationship can make a change that positively impacts your relationship just by awakening to the words being spoken.  
Plus, how do make a shift if you are in the habit of speaking about your spouse without honor? It’s simpler than you might think. And the results are marriage changing. 
Email us anytime at thedreammarriagepodcast@gmail.com Or checkout out our free resources for helping you create the marriage of your dreams at  www.thedreammarriage.com